As a kid I always knew that I wanted to be a dad when I grew up. I would often imagine what my own children would be like and made mental notes about things I would let my kids do or have, usually out of envy for not having the opportunities myself. Highlights include:
- Owning the gigantic LEGO pirate ship play set
- Playing Little League baseball
- Having a car in high school
- Learning how to play an instrument (and sticking to it)
- Going to film school
Last year, after 31 years of waiting and imagining, my perspective changed greatly once I learned that my wife was pregnant. These nine months presented all new types of anticipation, hopes, dreams, anxiety and planning. Thoughts and dreams naturally shifted from a trivial, adolescent wish to more practical hopes and wonders. Would my baby be healthy? Will it look like me? How are we going to get daycare if all places have a one-year waiting list?
Between pregnancy and parenting books, prenatal classes and baby websites, I knew virtually everything I needed to know about the logistics of having a baby. There were timelines for everything and the information was so compartmentalized for stage and scenario, or so it seemed – but then came the actual baby!
When I saw my daughter (we didn’t know what we were having) for the first time, my perspective changed instantly. In a brief instant I said goodbye to the ghost of imagined baby past and hello to a little lovable and mysterious person – a person all their own.
After being home from the hospital for about a week or two, I started a tradition of waking up early to rock the baby while watching “Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood.” The episode that day featured the song “I Like You as You Are,” and I smiled as Mister Rogers seemingly pulled the words from my mind and sang them to my peaceful, sleeping baby:
I Like You As You Are
Lyrics by Josie Carey | Music by Fred Rogers
I like you as you are
Exactly and precisely
I think you turned out nicely
And I like you as you are
I like you as you are
Without a doubt or question
Or even a suggestion
Cause I like you as you are
I like your disposition
Your facial composition
And with your kind permission
I’ll shout it to a star
I like you as you are
I wouldn’t want to change you
Or even rearrange you
Not by far
I like you
I-L-I-K-E-Y-O-U
I like you, yes I do
I like you, Y-O-U
I like you, like you as you are
The song perfectly captures the unconditional love and acceptance I felt from the first moment my daughter entered this world. I pulled the song up again on YouTube and Mister Rogers sang it to my daughter, his new television neighbor, while I cried tears of joy.
It wasn’t the idea of her or the things I once hoped she’d be – it was her I liked.
